# packetlog >

What Mr. Know-It-All Doesn't Know

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** What Mr. Know-It-All Doesn't Know **
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-- What Mr. Know-It-All doesn't know is that nobody takes him seriously anymore -- and he has no friends now.

[Date: Mar 16, 2010]

How to Write a Business Case

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** How to Write a Business Case **
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Think of it this way. The obstinate child has got hold of your wallet.  So you promise him a trip to Disneyland this summer and you get back your wallet.

[Date: Mar 15, 2010]

Interview for an IT HelpDesk Assistant

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** Interview for an IT HelpDesk Assistant **
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-- You mean you *don't* have a diploma in Jungian Analysis?


[Date: Feb 17, 2010]

That's Fast

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** That's Fast **
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--  He is the fastest programmer we have.  He can go 80 words per minute.


[Date: Feb 10, 2010]    

User Profiles

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** User Profiles **
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-- From an IT Service Desk point of view, there are three types of users:  Regular Staff, Senior Executives and People Who Think They Are Senior Executives.

[Date: Dec 18, 2009]
                     

Holistic

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** Holistic **
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-- His holistic approach, as you may have seen, is full of holes.


[Date: Dec 18, 2009]     

Some People Are Just Lucky

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** Some People Are Just Lucky **
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-- My boss is sooooo .... stupid.
-- Lucky, you.  Mine is smart.

[Date: Dec 18, 2009]    

IT Manager at Home

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** IT Manager at Home **
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-- Daddy, can I get a hug please?
-- Have you filled in the Hardware Request Form?



[Date: Feb 5, 2010]    

Change Management

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** Change Management **
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--  Craig, what do you think of Change Management?
--  Good idea.  It's high time we changed our management.



[Date: Dec 18, 2009]    

Many Dr. Houses Here

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** Many Dr. Houses Here **
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-- Here in our department everyone thinks he is Dr. House but nobody is able to troubleshoot anything. They just walk with a cane and pretend.

[Date: Jan 21, 2010]
                       

To The Non-IT Person Whoever You Are

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** To The Non-IT Person Whoever You Are **
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-- A non-IT person trying to do IT is like a donkey trying to sing.  Do your sociology or endocrinology or whatever and leave us alone!

[Date: Jan 20, 2010]

Fatherly Advice

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** Fatherly Advice **
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--  I don't know what to do with my boss.  He is impossible.
--  When I was your age, son, I used to get my bosses fired.


[Date: Jan 15, 2010]          

People Never Understand

 

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** People Never Understand **
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-- You guys will never acknowledge it - but technical things are only a minor part of any project.  A company cannot survive without who understand Project Management.
-- Few days later ...
-- My laptop's acting funny for a while.  It disconnects from network, connects again, disconnects, freezes and reboots ...
-- It could be a minor technical detail.

 
[Date: Nov 5, 2009]     

Mr. iTunes

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** Mr. iTunes **
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-- I'd say he's Mr. iTunes.  Wants to do everything himself.



[Date: Jul 24, 2009]
                      

That's Why

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**  That's Why **
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-- Lot of stress?
-- Oh, yes. I'm so busy nowadays that nothing gets done.


[Date: Nov 3, 2009]
                         

White Papers

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** White Papers **
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-- White papers are so called because they help to hide the dark parts of an implementation ...


[Date: Oct 17, 2009]    

At an iPhone App Dev Outfit

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** At an iPhone App Dev Outfit **
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-- I think it's going to be an addictive 99¢ app.  Basically, you roleplay a manager. If you can block an employee's promotion you get two coconuts. If you can fire somebody you harvest ten coconuts, and so on .... 

[Date: Aug 15, 2009, 2.50 AM]

Projects

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** Projects **
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-- All projects have three things in common: Missing deadlines, overshooting the budget and delivering the wrong product.

[Date: Feb 28, 2009]                  

MBA 101 Class

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** MBA 101 Class  **
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-- Today we will talk about MBTI - Management by Threat and Intimidation.

[Date: Feb 26, 2009]  

When Managers are Unhappy

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** When Managers are Unhappy **
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-- Look at you, Peter ... You are so unhappy .... while your employees are chatting merrily away in the cafeteria ...
--  Mary, please call everybody to a departmental meeting tomorrow morning.  Six-thirty sharp.

[Date: Feb 21, 2009]  

The One Minute Manager

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** The One Minute Manager **
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-- Jack, I want the sales figures *now* !!

[Date: Feb 4, 2009]        

Network Admin

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** Network Admin **
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-- You know you are a network admin if you try to call a colleague using his IP address.

[Date: Jan 17, 2009]    

What Managers Do

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** What Managers Do  **
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-- 1. Manager has a new idea
-- 2. Brainstorms with his lieutenants
-- 3. Excel, PowerPoint, MS Project 
-- 4. Budget approved, kick-off meeting
-- 5. Project implementation
-- 6. Things get messy because there was a stupid mistake in Excel sheet
-- 7. Damage control
-- 8. Things calm down

[Date: Nov 29, 2008]   

The Only GTD Guide You'll Ever Need

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** The Only GTD Guide You'll Ever Need **
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-- Nothing is done till nothing is done.

[Date: Nov 30, 2008]                  

Helpdesk

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** Helpdesk **
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-- Something's wrong with my computer.  I see only flying stars.
-- Just hit the table with your fist, please.
-- Hey, it's OK now.  Thanks.

[Date: Aug 27, 2008]

The Corridor

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** The Corridor **
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-- Amit, in your country do you drive on the left side?
-- Yes, how did you know?
-- Because, here, you are blocking everybody in the corridor.

[Date: Dec 3, 2007]

Dilbert

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** Dilbert **
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-- My boss is even worse. He emails me Dilbert cartoons.

[Date: Dec 3, 2007]