** Calls to a Banana Republic ** ================================ -- Your call could not be completed. There's a coup d'etat in progress. Please try later.
** Plato and a Platypus ** =========================== -- Plato thought that an ideal man is round. -- And I've known for a while that ideal arguments are circular.
** At an iPhone App Dev Outfit ** ================================== -- I think it's going to be an addictive 99ยข app. Basically, you roleplay a manager. If you can block an employee's promotion you get two coconuts. If you can fire somebody you harvest ten coconuts, and so on ....
-- Well, back then, we used to invite friends, they introduced us to new friends, and so on ... -- Mom, you mean, you had a *real* Facebook kind of thing?
** When Managers are Unhappy ** ================================ -- Look at you, Peter ... You are so unhappy .... while your employees are chatting merrily away in the cafeteria ... -- Mary, please call everybody to a departmental meeting tomorrow morning. Six-thirty sharp.
** Color Crayons ** =================== -- As a pre-schooler, God had shown a predilection for playing with color crayons. It came in useful, much later in His life, when He was designing Autumn.
** Dave Bowman Finally Understands the Randomness Inherent in the Universe ** ============================================================================= -- Dave Bowman: My God, it's full of Black Swans!
** A Diet Plan That Actually Works ** ====================================== -- If you don't like something, eat it. Chances are high that it's good for your health.
** The Black Swan ** =================== [The Black Swan: The Impact of the Highly Improbable by Nassim Nicholas Taleb] -- The perfect gift for an economics professor. Or a MBA student in a suit and tie.
** The Double-Rainbow ** ======================== -- Wow! Look!! A double-rainbow! -- That day God was ecstatic in Heaven. Nobody had figured out he had ditched Photoshop for Gimp.
** Many Worlds Theory ** ========================= -- The Many Worlds Theory postulates an infinite number of near-identical copies of universes - and the RIAA doesn't like it one bit. --
** Schrรถdinger's Cat / Schrรถdinger's LolCat ** =============================================== -- Schrรถdinger's cat was dreaming, -- And said: -- God-darn'd! -- Either I am dead -- Or I aren't!
** Politics ** =================== -- I think politics is the oldest profession, but, on the other hand, there is hardly any difference between the two.
** The Truth is Bitter and Unforgiving but Ultimately It Heals the Wound ** =============================================================== -- Thinking America can fix itself by changing the system: that's hope. Thinking America can fix itself by changing a president: that's stupidity.
** The Corridor **
===================
-- Amit, in your country do you drive on the left side?
-- Yes, how did you know?
-- Because, here, you are blocking everybody in the corridor.
** Joe on TV **
===================
-- I just can't believe seeing Joe shaking hands with the President in the White House!
-- Did he wash his hands afterwards?
** Inspired by Paris Hilton **
===============================
-- Inspired by Paris Hilton reading The Art of War, George Bush manages to read 2 1/2 pages of Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance.
** Wireless Keyboard **
===================
-- Q: Should I buy a wireless keyboard?
-- A: Yes, you should. That way others won't have to install the keylogger on your machine.
** Famous Brothers **
===================
-- I wonder what would have happened if the Wright brothers had failed.
-- They would have become famous as the Wrong brothers.
** Archaeological Surprise **
===================
-- What archaeologists initially thought was an 800-year old walnut turned out to be the preserved brain of a well-known religious fanatic.
** Health Freak, Part I **
================
-- Craig believes that running miles every day will add 3 years to his life.
-- [Note: 4 years of his life will have been spent on just running.]
** Once Upon a Time **
================
-- Soviet Russia was ruled over by an evil political party ...
-- ... while USA was ruled over by *two* of them.
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